Petty Squabbles
by 8ron
Summary: Cullen and Evelyn begin their night with a petty argument, and it takes their children to make them see how childish they're actually behaving.


Cullen entered their quarters with a relieved sigh. It had been another long day, with a piercing headache to boot. Now he could finally relax, the paperwork would wait, the new recruits were finally showing some promise, his children had been bathed, read to, and were asleep, and his wife was already in bed; flashing him that heavy lidded look that sent his stomach tingling.

He grinned, not saying a word as he began to undress. Evelyn watched him hungrily, chewing on her lip as she supported herself on one elbow. Cullen crossed the room to his armour stand, tripping up on yet another wooden toy a wandering soul had left on the floor. It successfully killed the mood, and sent her into a fit of giggles as he stumbled forward, dropped his chest plate, and sent it flying with an accidental kick. His cheeks flushed red as he hung the rest of his armour away. When would he stop embarrassing himself in front of her? Never, he oddly hoped.

"Andraste's ass. How many toys do three children need? Remind me to tell Blackwall they have enough." He grumbled, losing his boots and pulling his undershirt off, dropping it on the floor, but leaving his breeches on.

Evelyn rolled her eyes, smile fading as she stared at his forgotten shirt. "You could try, but I don't think he'd stop making them. Besides, that one was from the market. Dorian bought it for Kya. They spoil them more than we do."

He agreed with a grunt. The entire floor seemed to be littered with toys, and this was nothing compared to the nursery. Their companions all doted on the children. Leliana was always buying the girls shoes, Josephine was constantly hosting little tea parties – that he guilty thought she enjoyed a little too much, and Iron Bull almost seemed to be hunting for excuses that meant he could babysit again.

He'd even seen Cassandra changing a nappy once, letting out disgusted noises as their newest cooed up at her with a grin and drooled. She hadn't seemed impressed at the time, but had argued with Krem who got to hold Fleur while she slept afterwards.

A sleepy stretch from his wife stopped his train of thought, and Cullen attempted to forget how tired he was as he stared shamelessly at her breasts, larger than usual, straining against the confines of her nightie. She noticed him ogling and laughed, slipping one sleeve over her shoulder and giving him a teasing view of the bare flesh underneath.

Until something else caught his eye, and he frowned down at their bed, puzzled.

Cullen Rutherford slept with two pillows. It wasn't complicated, it wasn't difficult to understand. Over the years he had developed a set consistent necessities in order to fall asleep as easily as possible without the want for lyrium. He needed his last cup of tea, the comforting knowledge that his children safe in their room, preferably the presence of his wife – or her perfume should she be travelling – and _two_ pillows. Two.

So why was there only one there?

Evelyn was less constant with her sleeping habits. As long as she was drooling on his arm, taking up three quarters of the bed, and acting like a human furnace, then she'd no doubt have a full nights rest – excluding crying babies of course.

"Where is my other pillow?" He said, slipping under the sheets and ignoring the little kisses she began to reign down his neck. Evelyn tried to pull him down to her, but Cullen remained upright.

"Hmm?" She murmured, running a hand over his chest. He might have given into her wicked touches, had he not known his wife was a little thief.

"My pillow, Evelyn. You have two. I have one. Where is it?"

"Oh." She pulled away, mood gone, and fell onto her back. Silky hair sprayed out behind her, and Evelyn stretched her arms up and played with a few golden locks while she smiled up at him; grin cheeky. "You mean my leg pillow?"

"No, I mean _my_ pillow. What even is a leg pillow?"

"I like having one between my legs. It's a girl thing."

He didn't even attempt to understand her. "Well… give it back."

There was a moment's silence, and her brow furrowed into that stubborn glare that meant he was edging into dangerous territory. Playful mood gone.

"No."

Cullen growled, and slipped his hand under the sheets to indeed find his pillow wedged between his wife's knees. Immediately Evelyn locked her thighs tight and latched onto it. He pulled slightly to meet her swift resistance.

He debated having a tug of war with her, almost sure he could win –maybe, she was freakishly strong - but that left them no better than toddlers, and he settled with instead giving her his best glare. The one that sent naughty children to bed and reduced useless footmen to tears. Yet it had no effect on Evelyn, and she just returned it with a scowl of her own – the one that could make a demon shudder.

"Don't mess with me, Rutherford. I didn't spend the entire day talking to Orelsians just so you could steal my leg pillow."

He scoffed in disbelieve. "Would you stop calling it that? It's _my_ pillow. Why are you so childish?"

"_I'm _childish?! You started it."

"Excuse me? I don't recall stealing anything of yours."

"It's just a pillow, Cullen. Maker save me."

"If it's just a pillow then give it back."

She huffed and leaned up on her elbows, pulling her nightie back over her shoulders. "You sound like Kya. You're just grumpy the wardens took half of your new recruits, and now you're taking it out on me. Well I won't be bullied, Cullen. You can make do with one pillow or you can sleep on the couch."

"You're sending me to the couch because I won't let you take my things?! I'm warning you, Evelyn."

"Warning _me_?!"

"And I'm not grumpy!"

They continued to argue, volume rising as the petty quarrel slowly turned more serious. Evelyn complained about the mess he made, Cullen accused her of being selfish. Her eyes widened and she pointed out how uptight he was, shouting now. He didn't know whether to kill her or kiss her senseless, and the throbbing in his head only grew worse with every heated insult.

Then the ear-splitting cry of a baby silenced them both, and they stared at each other for a few moments before speaking at once.

"**You go."**

He rolled his eyes, great, something else to dispute.

"It's your turn, Cullen."

"No, it's your turn. I went last time."

"I'm the boss."

"Not in this room you're not." He pointed out in a low growl, ignoring the way her lip twitched almost playfully. If he didn't know any better he would have sworn she was enjoying this.

"If I go, you'll just steal my leg pillow."

"Stop calling it that! It's MY pillow!"

"Cullen. Go."

He growled and pulled the sheets off them with one angry swipe, childishly smug when it exposed Evelyn to the cold – leg pillow and all. Ignoring her huffing, he marched out their room and down the few steps into the nursery. The tower refurbishments had been finished years ago, and the nearest room had been completely taken over by their children, and rightfully so. Cullen enjoyed having them close. For their safety and for his amusement. He loved starting the day with the pitter patter of tiny feet in the morning; and, despite his whining, he treasured the midnight awakenings where he and Evelyn would comfort their children back to sleep, rather than having a nanny do all the hard work.

"Why is it always crying?" Kya said as soon as he'd opened the door and wandered into the room. She was sitting up in her bed, hands crossed, blonde curls a mess, and giving him a scowl that could rival her mother's.

"That's what babies do." He told her, smiling tenderly. Unlike his darling wife, Cullen could not just summon a ball of light with a swish of his fingertips, and so with nothing but the torches hanging in the corridor, he stumbled through the dark and towards their nightstand. He managed to trip up on several toys, fall face first over a rocking horse, and stub his toe on the edge of Bain's bed. "Son of a - !" He gulped down the sentence, clenching his fist with a little whimper. The combination of crying baby and angry father had successfully woken up Bain, who rubbed his eyes sleepily as he sat up and stared.

"Da? Why is Fleur crying again? Shes always crying."

"Because that's what babies do." Kya said smugly, beginning to climb out of bed.

"Ahh - ! Don't get up. Stay right there." He said, trying to keep the panic from his voice and failing miserably. Kya, to put it sweetly, was a menace. There would be no getting her back to sleep once she was out from under that feather duvet and ready to play, and so Cullen hurried up with lighting the candles, a warm glow filling the messy room.

"Sisters are annoying." Bain was grumbling, hugging the teddy bear 'Auntie Hawke' had given him on her last visit.

"Older sisters or younger ones?" Now able to see what he was doing, Cullen had swept little Fleur out of her cot and into his arms. He bounced her gently in a poor attempt to cease her crying. She wailed in return.

"Both." Bain said, voice small as he talked into his teddy's head, avoiding Kya's glare.

He laughed, but his rumbling chest only made Fleur scream all the louder, and his children covered their ears with their hands as they waited for their baby sister to quiet down.

"Are you hungry little one?" He asked her, gently placing on finger on her slobbery mouth to see if she would suck on it. Though she'd just had her supper moments ago. "Because if you are, it means we get to wake up mummy too." A prospect he found just a little too amusing.

"Yeah, get mummy, shes better at it than you." Kya said, wounding his pride.

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Maker, the women in my family." He mumbled to himself, kissing Fleur gently on the head as he checked her nappy for any accidents. "Kya, how many pillows do you have?" Cullen asked in an afterthought, remembering what Evelyn had said.

"Two, silly." She giggled holding one fluffy pillow above her head to show him.

"A girl thing indeed." He grumbled, taking a book cluttering the shelf and perching himself on the edge of Bain's bed. "Shall we read Fleur a bedtime story? Maybe that will help her sleep." He suggested.

"_Only_ if you do the funny voices." Kya insisted, out of her bed and climbing into Bain's, forcing her younger brother to shove over whether he liked to or not.

"Not a scary one though." Bain said, abandoning his teddy to clutch his father's arm instead.

"No! I want a scary one. Like Uncle Varric's stories. They always have dragons in them."

Cullen smiled, balanced the baby carefully on his lap, and then began to read.

* * *

Twenty minutes later and all three children were back in their own beds and blissfully asleep. Though he wasn't entirely happy to be returning to his room, the atmosphere seemed a lot chillier in here than the nursery, and he closed the door quietly with a click. He'd expected Evelyn to be up with a practised argument ready to go, but Cullen wandered back to bed to find his wife lying still, as far away from his side of the bed as possible, with her back to him.

He sighed, pulling the duvet back and settling in. So much for never going to sleep angry. No doubt she'd make him suffer tomorrow, acting coolly professional in front of Josephine and Liliana, only to give him some horrible job to do that she knew he'd hate.

With a huff he fell back onto his pillows, turning his back from her and closing his eyes, frown remaining.

It took a few minutes before Cullen realised he actually had _two_ pillows, and guilt flooded him in a hot wave.

She'd given it back.

Typical. That was the complete opposite of what he'd wanted. Now _he_ was the bad guy.

Infuriating woman.

"Evelyn, are you awake?" He sat up, turning to her, and received nothing but a stony silence in return.

She was definitely awake, he could just tell. Had she been asleep, she would have stretched out like a starfish by now.

"Evelyn, you can have the pillow. I'm… ah… sorry. Okay?"

He heard a sniffle, and leaned in closer as she rolled her face into her pillow. Muffled words came out in a squeak, and he moved onto her side of the bed to hear them better, hand falling to the small of her back.

"What was that?" He asked.

"I don't think you're uptight." She said in that same teary voice, hiding her face from him.

He almost laughed, but he'd learnt from experience that Evelyn did not appreciate people laughing at her apologies, no matter how cute she was acting. Instead Cullen settled with smiling into her shoulder, kissing her there before he moved to the crook of her neck.

"I don't think you're childish either," he whispered, nibbling gently.

"Really?" She turned onto one side, staring up at him through a curtain of golden hair. He flipped a lock away with the tip of his nose, and began to plant gentle kisses on her damp cheek in between his words.

"Well… a little, sometimes… maybe… but I _am_ insufferably uptight, so it was nice of you to lie about it."

Evelyn laughed, playful giggles making his stomach flip, and Cullen turned her onto her back, holding himself above her with one arm.

"Were the children alright?" She asked, hands slipping behind his neck, argument forgotten.

"Hmm, they're fine. But Bain did mention he wanted another sister, post haste." She laughed again and he took the opportunity to capture her mouth, hungry for her. He followed the curve of her lower lip with his tongue. She tasted salty, perhaps from tears, and that only made him kiss her harder; sorry for what he'd said, hoping she'd understand.

When he finally pulled away Evelyn was out of breath, and she gasped whilst he moved back to her neck, nibbling cheekily.

"Somehow I… ah… highly doubt that." Kya was forever dragging Bain into trouble, and no doubt Fleur would follow once she'd mastered speech. It seemed the poor boy was destined to be forever pestered by his sisters.

Cullen didn't bother to insist, he was distracted by the flimsy cotton of her nightie, and already his hands had begun to push the material up her legs and over her waist. Evelyn lifted her hips from the mattress to accommodate him, and it was all the invitation Cullen needed. Lips captured hers once again, pouring his passion and his sorrys into the gentle to and fro of their touches.

She slipped her arms free of the nightie, and he pushed the remaining material down so it bunched around her stomach. Evelyn immediately moved to cover her stretch marks, but he beat her to it, rubbing his thumb lovingly over the red marks that now lined her belly. He wouldn't change them for the world.

Instinctively, his hand rose to cup one breast, but he paused in time and settled on her cheek instead. They were sadly off limits while she was breast feeding, but, fortunate that he was, there was still plenty left of Evelyn to get lost in. His hand wrapped tightly around the back of her thigh, then slid up towards her hip. Reaching between her legs, he parted her folds, smirking at the dampness he found there.

She made a sound. He would never know how to describe it, but it set him on fire. Cullen pressed his hardness against her stomach, rubbing gently as his fingers tickled and teased and arched inside her. Evelyn turned languid and lazy underneath him, lying back and enjoying his ministrations. Occasionally her fingers would reach out to trail whichever part of his skin she found; tickling his chest, stroking over his shoulders, scratching his back.

To begin with, Cullen was more than happy to take his time. Touches slow and teasing. His lips trailed gently, barely touching her as he explored each delicate curve. In contrast, his fingers were wicked, having been with Evelyn enough times by now to know exactly what she liked and didn't like. He stroked and tickled, pressed in hard then retreated back until she begged him to keep it up. But then he started getting too hot, too desperate to feel her properly, and his fingers were abandoning her without warning; pushing his trousers down with clumsy hands, kicking them off his ankles and to the floor. Evelyn watched him through heavily lidded eyes. He slid himself within her, and sucked in his belly to keep from finishing before he'd even started, gulping at her warmness.

"Cullen – " his name tumbled from her lips, hand trailing behind his neck and dragging him down for another kiss.

"Hmm?" was his reply. Cullen grasped her bottom and pulled her towards him, rocking his hips gently.

They didn't manage another word for a while. His thrusts eventually became more erratic, her hips slamming against his own as she matched his pace. Cullen closed his eyes and listened to Evelyn's little gasps, the slapping of their thrusts, the squeaking of the mattress. He was dangerously close to becoming undone before her, and began to rotate his hips in a poor attempt to cool down, rewarded by a deep groan from his wife.

After a while of practised rocking, her legs locked around him, squeezing almost painfully tight as she reached her peak. Cullen buried his head into the crook of her neck, groaning as she tightened around him. Every muscles went rigged, skin sticking to each other as they stretched and moaned. Evelyn writhed underneath him, and pulled on his hair as he spilled himself within her. Hips rubbed and rocked a moment further before he finally collapsed and stilled.

For a moment they both caught their breath, eyes closed, panting.

"Sorry," he murmured eventually, bracing himself on one arm, "I'm squashing you."

Cullen moved to roll off her, but was pulled back down with that surprisingly strong grip. Evelyn brushed her lips across his ear, nibbling gently on the lobe.

"Don't. Not yet."

He smirked, wrapping one arm around her waist as he continued to support himself with the other. She did feel beautifully soft underneath him, and he would have been happy to stay like that for another hour or so, lips puckering to kiss every now and then.

Until the door creaked open.

"Mummy?"

She pushed him off, hard, and Cullen rolled right over and onto the floor with a bang. Though he was too busy catching his breath to notice the pain coming from his backside, wheezing as he clutched his chest.

"Maker, Evelyn!"

Not for the first time, the couple were incredibly thankful for the stairs that led to the main floor of their bedroom, as it took Bain a few moments before he was in view. Precious time that they used to make themselves decent. Evelyn pulled her nightie up over her breasts and down over her legs, whilst Cullen rutted on the floor, dragging his trousers up and ignoring how winded he still was.

"You didn't have to push so hard."

"Shh!"

"Mummy? I had a bad dream." Bain made it to the top just as Cullen was clambering back to his feet, and he smoothed his messy hair back as the small boy wandered to the other end of the bed, dragging his teddy bear behind him and sucking his thumb.

"A nightmare, my love?" Evelyn was pulling him up and into a hug as soon as he was in reaching distance, shuffling over onto Cullen's side of the bed.

"Kya says there are dragons under the beds. She says dragons eat little boys for supper."

Cullen made a mental note to have talk with his daughter in the morning, but settled back into bed with a sigh for the moment. It certainly was turning into a long night, he'd all but giving up on sleep.

"Did she now? Well I've met plenty of dragons, and they always just wanted to eat Iron Bull, not little boys." Evelyn said, catching the tears that pooled under his eyes with one thumb.

"Why is Uncle Bull still here then?"

"Because Josephine pays him too much." Cullen joked, wincing as he received a pinch from his wife.

"Because Uncle Bull… ah… likes dragons too much to let them eat him. Its… well… eh. What if your father went back to your room with you and checked for dragons? He'll even bring his sword, just in case."

Not that he wasn't happy to go do it, but it was most definitely Evelyn's turn now, and Cullen flashed her a glare.

"Actually son, I'm afraid your mother is the dragon slayer in the family."

"Can't you both come?" Bain squeaked finally, and Evelyn spared him a gentle smile before kissing the top of his head.

"Of course, darling. Let's go."

Bain was already half asleep again as she carried him back into the corridor, and Cullen followed happily, hand at the small of his wife's back. It occurred to him then that he couldn't even recall what they had been arguing about, and he didn't bother to remember.

* * *

Like always, thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd let me know what you thought about it. I'm now admitting that I am TERRIBLE at writing smut. Seriously, I hate it. I'd much rather write a fight scene with 10+ characters rather than a love scene with two. I'm just not very confident in my smut skills, and halfway through writing this the evil voice in my head went 'tiddy fic' and ruined any inspiration I had to make things hot and steamy. So sorry that part kinda fell short… unless you liked it, then thanks.

ALSO ALSO, with the teddy bear, I like to think it is Bain's FAVORITE toy ever. And he believes it was a Xmas present from Auntie Hawke and absolutely worships her for it (or whatever alternative Thedas has for Xmas, Feast Day or something) but Hawke's terrible at gifts, so she probably got him a huge dagger or something in reality, and Evelyn just said the teddy bear was from her anyway.

Theres no way Hawke would give an appropriate gift, just no way.


End file.
